why so black and lonely?

Friends. Families. Food. Atma Jaya. Nonbar. Loneliness. Puri 21. Gereja St. Theresia. Driving. Singing in my car. Colleagues. Familiar faces.

I’m gonna miss you all.

The good doctors at SGH finally returns to my life every Wednesday. I’m so happy about it, and can’t wait to make an appointment with them weekly to get prescription for my troubles.

Another "happy" news is that Lemony Snicket will finally put the end (no pun intended, click the link to read what I mean) to his Series of Unfortunate Evens series. We’ll get to see if the Baudelaire kids will end up happy or just, well, unfortunate. The Series is the books that I always intend to collect, but circumstances always block me to go out and collect the whole 13 books. Perhaps later when I’m already settled down there.

Fingers crossed.

Maybe the reason we keep talking about other people’s life and their success is because we aren’t successful. It could also be because if we talk about ourselves, it’ll be a bitter conversation as there’s nothing to talk about except our failures & disappointment with each other.

We might smile & laugh about during the session, but it’s also due to our own fear not to delve into our own self. It’ll be too painful to bare it all.

But what if it’s actually a motivational method? Then, it’s a weird one I think; as it’s definitely not working at all after all these years.

Another week went out the window as the date is getting closer and closer. Instead of calculating my moves & plans, I’m thrown back by a gazillion things in work and life. As long as I can recall, it’s always like this. Everytime I want to take the next step, things are suddenly getting complicated, difficult, and chaotic.

It’s like I’m not allowed to move on.

I don’t know if it’s in His plan, or it’s just a mere distraction to test how determined I am to complete it. I understand that there are things to be sorted out and stuffs to be done, but it’s just not right to have everything imaginable being pushed to your face at the same fucking time.