why so black and lonely?

Last week was a special one for our Captain, as he played game number 500 for United and became the 8th player to join the illustrious 500 Club. The player, who was appropriately nicknamed Busy One by the United lads (Brother Phil is Busy Two), was his usual self while being honored by CEO David Gill; composed, unsmiling, and just can’t wait to run to the pitch & play.

I believe he wasn’t the popular pick for United supporters as many of them would pick the usual glamourous faces like Rooney, Ronaldo, or even Rio. But, for those who are passionate about the team and not just the bandwagon-type, Gary would always hold a special place in their hearts. Not only because he’s one of the remaining members of Class of 92 in the current squad, but also because he’s the most dedicated one when it comes to the United cause. He would always be the only player that would be "warmly" greeted by the Kop whenever United comes to visit. Even Rooney can’t get a warmer reception.

While he may be overshadowed by close pal, Beckham during his stint at United, people know that Gaz is the one that makes everything running for the team when they’re off the pitch. He’s a natural leader, well-known as the organizer, and only cares for what’s best for the team. He’s always the first player to come for training, and he’s the one that personalizes the phrase "consummate professional".

Lastly, what I really appreciate from him is that the name on the back of his jersey would always read "G. Neville". A proper reminder to anyone associated to the club, that no matter where Phil is and what color he’s wearing, there’ll always be two Nevilles in Manchester United.

Maybe I should count everything myself. Maybe I should be there and watching them personally when they send it to everyone. Maybe I should store it in a locked box and nothing comes in or out without my permission. Maybe I should be the one who makes the report. Maybe I should do everything myself.

Or…

Maybe I shouldn’t. But the headache is unbearable that way!

It’s funny how I’m obliged to do everything punctually with them, but they’re far from being punctual when it comes to their main obligation to me. Have they never heard of "Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you" ?

On a different note, I must say that Jakarta, or even Indonesia, is very much capable of inducing administrative nightmare to their citizens. There are so many mumbo jumbo paperwork bullshit to go through if you want to apply for your administrative credentials. And most of it don’t make sense at all. They encourage us to do it ourselves without the middlemen, but it’s ironic how it’s actually the officials serving us that force us to use a third party.

They, who’re already paid to SERVE us, are taking advantage of it by asking for more money in return of "expediting" their service. It’s like dining in a restaurant and then you have to pay the waiter to bring us our food. Totally bollocks! If we refuse to play by their rules, something will always happen to our papers. One day, they’d ask us to get a certain document that we’re not told to get initially, or they’d tell us that one of our documents is miraculously missing, and finally they’d give us what we need after a scandalous long wait.

I can’t blame people if they wish to do nasty things to such corrupt officials. They deserve it. Yes, it’s wrong, but the satisfaction of successfully doing it is undeniable.

The first time I got acquainted with Guy Fawkes story was about eighteen years ago from a Secret Seven book borrowed from the school library. I never thought about it again until last Saturday in the first 5 minutes of V for Vendetta, a movie so fascinating it kept me glued to my seat till the end.

Everything about it seems to be perfect, from the menacing Guy Fawkes mask, V’s costume (even though the wig is a bit corny), to Natalie Portman (who’s looking more and more like Keira Knightley, or is it the other way around??). I’m more than willing to spend my hard-earned money only to watch V fighting again. Can’t wait for the DVD to come knocking at my door.

Another perfect showing came from The Hawthorns, as Louis Saha perfectly justified Fergie’s selection by scoring both United goals which resulted in more bench time for van Nistelrooy. Our attack was more fluid with Saha in the team because his pace opened spaces for Rooney & Ronaldo to exploit, something that Ruud couldn’t provide. If only Fergie can always put Saha, Ruud , & Rooney together in the starting lineup, the outcome would be devastating.

The things you say will only alienate us. We from you, and you from us. You probably don’t know why, and even if you do, we know that you’ll keep doing it because you mean good and that’s what you’re supposed to do.

We’re sorry that we can’t make you happy and proud like them. We know that it hurts you, but you also need to know that we’re also hurt, probably more than you, and we’ll keep feeling it till the day we die. We’ll always view ourselves as failures, and it’s a heavy cross to bear.

So, please let us live our lives our way, and just pray for us so lights would always shine our paths, as we always do for you. We love you, we’ll always do and nothing could ever change that.

For those who came and called during the past month, and appropriately seated at the backseat of my life, I sincerely apologize as the precious front seat has been strictly reserved with no end date in sight. So, I beg for your understanding to enjoy the view from your backseat for a little longer. I even couldn’t provide snacks for you to munch during your wait.

It’s never ending, and little by little the beacon of light that have been guiding me is getting farther and farther until it’s out of sight and leaves me. Everything leaves in this episode of mine, and I’m too occupied in my own maze to be surprised.

It’s been a hellish two weeks lately as I was bombarded with gazillion things to do. It got worse with my physical condition which wasn’t at its best. So, I’m still gonna be stay awake long in the wee hours of the night at least for another week.

"Inget yah. Tangan loe cuman dua!" But, it’d be useless if the help I get will only double my load. Ironic.

Anyway, the countdown has been started yesterday. Let’s pray for the best.

I really need to do something about my headache as soon as possible. The latest episode of it had me spending 6 hours at the Airport Transit hotel because I couldn’t stand it anymore to drive back to the office. Those were the most expensive 6 hours in my life, but if I looked at the bright side, at least I also got a place for me to literally throw up everything I ate that morning, and took a shower.

Today, I’m still light-headed and if it’s still bothering me I’d just call it a day and see the doctor.